Today's Career Aspirations

During my final semester of Romance Languages, I'm going to apply towards three directions.

One, I'm going to apply to grad school for anthropology. Definitely New School in NYC, maybe Tulane, maybe UVA, maybe NYU. I might look at Toronto and some other international options. Problem is, application fees. Maybe by then, I'll be making a little bit more money.

Two, I'm also going to apply for jobs with magazines, Condé Nast publishing house and New York Magazine in particular. I'll need to do some more research, but by then, I'll have had 2 years with Amelie G.

Three, I'm going to apply to work with the United Nations, too. The more I read about the Norwegian extreme right-wing terrorist and his manifesto, the more I want to learn and inform people about what's going on in the world; how we can be good, empathetic people; and how we can preserve our planet for our grandchildren. I remember wanting to be a part of the UN, especially in high school and college. What happened to that fiery, "fearless" idealist?!

Hmph. We'll see what happens.

Affirmations.d

I am still working on the R. Rebouché piece; coincidently, I ended up talking with Laura, a particularly special friend of Jesse's who also went to LA Tech, this evening. Laura, Jesse's childhood girlfriend, is an artist in Philadelphia, and after talking with her for nearly two hours today, I feel a sense of calm. I mean, though I'm still searching for what I want to do, and to a degree, who I am, talking to her was reassuring, encouraging and enlightening.

Here are some affirmations in that spirit.

• I know I want to complete my MA in Romance Languages, even though it's not what I want my career to be in. If it takes me longer than to the summer of 2012, then that's okay. I'm not in a rush; I want to be sure and eventually feel secure in that decision.
• I know I want to move out of New Orleans at some point in the near future. Definitely not permanently, but I want a new perspective, I want some change that forms or informs me more for the better. Maybe NYC or Philly?
• I want to be with Jesse indefinitely. I love him more than I ever could have imagined, and I don't want this to change.
• I'm going to reapply to the New School and apply to a couple of other schools for either Anthropology or an MFA in Creative Writing.
• I will not settle for a job that I hate just to get benefits or be more financially secure. I'm happy in my job right now. I just have to juggle priorities and necessities with wants and desires.
• And, just to throw this in there last, but not any less importantly, I want to be there for my sister.
• Somehow, among these self preservations, I will make my parents proud.

Marriage

I'm so stupid. Yesterday, Jes and I went to his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party, and I got upset and subsequently emotional after I was not asked to be in the grandchildren's photograph. The thing is, one of his cousins' girlfriend was in it, and they've been together for far less time than Jesse and I have, but in consolation, this particular cousin pulled his girlfriend in. But, I was just bitter that three of his cousins have gotten married in the time we've been together, and 2 of them have been with their significant others for less than we have. Anyway, it's not a competition and I was being ridiculous, but I brought it up on the way home and kind of sullied a perfectly lovely afternoon...

That is until his birthday party/housewarming that evening. But, the thing is, I shouldn't have asked him when we're getting married. Obviously, there is a reason he hasn't asked me. What bothers me I guess is that it doesn't matter to him whether or not we get married. The thing is, to him, it's just a piece of paper. Anyway, I don't want to harp on it. I just wanted to acknowledge this and move on. I probably should have journaled in my written journal, but this was more convenient for the moment.