Human Trafficking and the Sex Industry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clPB4ruordo&playnext_from=TL&videos=ddDVvOq_tQc&feature=featured

Birthday number 24

Tentative plans for my 24th birthday

Dinner at Martinique Bistro (http://www.martiniquebistro.com/) on Saturday night, followed by second dessert at [Club] Pinkberry. Then, live music...

The morning of my birthday, I want to go to the Farmers' Market with Jesse. Sunday, we'll probably go brunch too; don't know where yet.

I gotta figure out what to do for Mia's birthday, too. It's the Tuesday after my birthday.

Bitter sweet. More on the bitter side of things

I hate not having enough money to do more than get by, live month to month, paycheck to paycheck. I haven't been able to really do anything in the way of creating a solid savings. My savings account has a signal digit dollar amount in it.

I thought I'd be able to afford one of these three dresses for my birthday because my dad gave me $100.

With my recent job situation instability/change, my mom decided to forgive my $260 debt of J. Crew clothes. But, in light of this, I feel selfish and grandiose because I'm bummed out that I can't afford one of the Anthropologie dresses. And, I know I don't need another article of clothing, but I adore pretty fabrics, embroidery, buttons.

I've been doing budget review to see how much I money I need to live on at the very least. It's a lot! $245 goes to my good ol' friend, Sallie Mae, every month. Jesse and I split rent and even that's hard for me to swing. I guess we're not moving anytime soon (considering we'll have deposits and first month's rents to ome up with). Unless we move to Luling, and I don't think that either of our first choice. Anyway, long story short, my dad's birthday present is going towards a credit card payment. Happy Birthday, me. Nothing says 24 like [trying to be and] paying debt.

Sometimes adulthood sucks! But, then I got remind myself how much it doesn't at other times. I should be thankful and happy for that. And, I am.

Education, the most valuable investment

So many in this situation. I know I am. Student debt.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/29/your-money/student-loans/29money.html

What a week!

Today I babysat a precious little girl who went to Little Gate. I had subbed in her class many times the last semester and her mom also is an attorney at the firm that Jesse works at. Yesterday I babysat the same little girl and Jesse's direct boss' daughter. Both days have been fun and relatively unstressful. Unfortunately, Jesse's boss' little girl got pretty sick so I didn't have the chance to babysit her today. It was nice to get to know some of the people he works with a little better. They have been wonderful and welcoming.

The lack of stress is in contrast to my last couple of days at LG. Tuesday I found out that I wouldn't be given a contracted position. That means that they couldn't find a place for as a teacher in twos, threes or toddlers. I had expressed interest in full-time following my rejection letters form the three programs to which I applied (2 in Anthro and 1 in Latin American studies, remember?). So going into this self-initiated meeting two days after LG's last day, I was disappointed, dejected and inevitably bitter that this late in the year, I was finding out that I could pretty much do what I've been doing this past semester (subbing and floating), but without the two-day infants teaching position and add after-care if I wanted it. Well, call me elitist, but I did not graduate from Loyola to work aftercare. Plus, though they could offer me relatively regular hours, it would also be paid hourly, not on salary. It took me less than a day to make my decision and I told my boss the next afternoon that I must respectfully decline. I have since communicated with her and I am more satisfied by the reasoning behind my not being offered a postion (namely lack of positions and me previously expressing disinterest in toddler teaching positions). Ironically enough, I love babysitting one toddler at a time!

I am counting myself lucky that this past year I was on salary and luckily, that salary will last through July. So, I'm not scrambling to find a job right away, but it is something I have been considering.

Then again, I am also looking at this blow as a big blessing in disguise. Don't get me wrong, I could/would have been quite content and comfy at LG. But, now I'm thinking I may start full-time at UNO this fall. If I can afford it (aka, I get some form of financial aid), it would be more beneficial to go full-time and finish in 1.5 years. Additionally, though it would be unstable, who is to say that I cannot supplement my income with babysitting gigs? I have come to know quite a few preschool aged-children and I am enjoying spending individual time with all of them!

So that's where I was/am this week. Thank goodness for the weekend. I think Jesse and I will be heading to Greek Festival in Gentilly (or is it Lakeview?) sometime this weekend. Kind of funny considering he was in Greece just on Tuesday. I am so very happy he is home though. I feel complete again. Cheesy, but true.

Lastly, I babysat in Algiers Point today. Can I say that I love it and want to move there? So quaint and friendly without compensating a New Orleans nostalgic comfort. Look up and see the New Orleans skyline, Canal Street and French Quarter right over the River. Take the ferry there for free if you'd like. I didn't think it was possible, but I think it takes the cake on my favorite NOLA neighborhoods. Funnily enough, Ms. Lisa (Neill's mom grew up there) and after being there, I can totally see it. I met people at the playground and cafes that just had her confident cordiality!

1. Algiers
2. Mid-City
3. Lower Garden District tied with area around Whole Foods
4. French Quarter

I love learning more about NOLA!

Oh, the week be over!

The bad news is that I'm having a tumultuous week, but right now I need to go to bed so I can head to the Westbank to babysit tomorrow morning. The good news is I turn 24 next Saturday. So long sucky year #23!

I will update once I know more about my uncertain position (for lack of a better word and or lack thereof) with Little Gate. This week hasn't been my best, but I'm still trying to figure out things, ironing out my plans in the immediate future. But, I'm trying not to rush my decision-making so I'm not regretful once I've already started whatever it is I could potentially choose to do.

Next entry title: I don't care if my resume isn't what every HR Department is looking for

I'm going to do it my way, a way that makes me happy. Not the form-letter, fill-in-the-blank resume for cookie-cuttered shapes (aka shadows) of a human being. Ha.

Wow, bitter much?

Pretty pictures and happy news

Photo of Nice, uncredited. I wanted a photo for my blog heading banner, but I couldn't make anything work. I prefer to use one of my own, regardless of how I lack in photographic talent, but I just liked this picture.

Happy news is that Jesse comes home tomorrow! I'll pick him up from the airport around 11:30 PM. I hope that work goes by quickly as does my evening. I'll probably nap so I can stay up all night anyway.

Day in Photos, via CBS

http://www.cbsnews.com/2300-202_162-10003448.html?tag=page

Me-time

Disclaimer: The opinions stated in this journal, while actual sentiments, are in no way meant to hurt the feelings of or criticize any readers. If something seems offensive or hurtful, I really apologize. I just write for emotional exporting.

It's been a long week, but at the same time, where did the time go? I had high hopes of productiveness, but, alas, I'm in BR until tomorrow morning, and upon returning to NOLA, I have an apartment waiting to be cleaned. I wanted to have the apartment completely organized by the time that Jesse comes home, but now it looks more and more like that's not going to happen. Mia and I are leaving for NOLA tomorrow morning because she begins her summer session of class; we had come to BR this weekend to spend it with my mom, but because she works so much it's not like we did really much with her at all. Mia wants me to help her move into her dorm after class, so though Jesse's been gone for the last 8 days, I feel like I have gotten next to no alone time, no me-time.

It's my own fault though. Last Sunday I was talking to Mia on skype. Neill had wanted to do something, and so when he got to my house, I asked him if he wanted to go to BR to pick up Mia. Though she said not to pick her up, she just sounded so lame and bored in BR. So we went to pick her up. She had said she wanted to spend the week with me. I told her that I had to work nearly all week and that I had to teach in the evenings, which is why she conceded not to come, but I gave into my own guilt (damn, I hate how guilty I feel; I hope my children are not guilted by me) and thought, well, this is the only time I'll have a chance to get her so I might as well let her stay over for the week. Already, I had planned on going to BR the next weekend to visit my mom. But, everyone seemed to think that I couldn't come home to an empty house in dark New Orleans, that I couldn't possibly take care of myself and have them (miles and miles away) feel that I was safe. They wanted piece of mind. I must admit I was (and perhaps still am) a little resentful because of this. I've certainly been bitter at various times this week, but all by my own doing.

It seemed like once Jesse left, it was non-stop outings and activities, and while this is the way things fell, I hadn't meant for them to be this way. I planned certain things, but I didn't want them to be what I did because Jesse wasn't home. And, it wasn't. But, at the same time, I did want to do these things (e.g., babysit Saturday night, go out for a celebratory drink Monday night with Lizzie after our second-to-last class, dinner with coworkers Tuesday night at Lola's, etc.), and consequently I was stressed. I worried about how things were going with Jesse and me (probably mostly because of the distance), but at the same time, I wanted independence.

I don't want to be away from him, but I also want to make sure I have my own identity, which may be very influenced by and moved by his, but still with my own ambitions. It's been a week of self-refecting, and so far, I still don't love what I see. This might sound bad, but I'm feeling that I've become more easily agitated, more materialistic, and that I'm judgmental and even somewhat racist sometimes. And, I feel terrible that I'm doing this, but I can't figure out how to stop. It's like I'm playing into stereotypes sometimes. I know that that's just what they are, but I'm automatically thinking them more than I believe I should be.

So this was more of a rant, an exercise for myself on how I'm currently feeling. I've got to do some stuff around the [BR] house, among other things before I return to NOLA. This week was the last week of regular LG so I have a breath of a break before camp begins. A week since my last post, I've gotten in arguments with both Mia and Neill, and while I feel bad about how they unravelled, a part of me wanted to say those things--a part of me just wants to tell them how I feel. I'm just not as social or interested in doing some of the things I once used to enjoy; I'm constantly surrounded by people and I rarely feel like I have any me-time. There were good things that happened this week too (like spending time with Mia, my mom, Neill; finally watching It's Complicated and Sex and the City; possibly finding a new apartment that Jesse and I might like--that is, if we can actually afford it; etc.), don't get me wrong. And, I have more to say, but better wait for another time.

Lastly, but certainly not least, I can't wait for Jesse to come home. I miss him.

Update needed

I'm sure I have lots to say about the week, but the most important is that I dropped Jesse to the airport this (yesterday) afternoon. He should be arriving in Frankfurt in less than an hour, where he'll have a layover and then make his way to Istanbul on another flight. [Different] emotions going on, but I'll be thinking about that throughout his trip. When exhaustion/tiredness isn't one of my feelings. I'll have to update sometime tomorrow; I should have plenty of free time, right?

things to do
-run if it's not raining too hard
-sweep house and clean a bit
-1 or 2 loads of laundry
-read
-Praxis studying?
-call Praxis if they're open
-go to ESL party and lesson plan/hang out with Lizzie afterwards
-spend time with Saki
-letter-write (for my infants/toddler class)

Food for thought

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/9-marriage-rules-you-should-break-1387877/

I'll read later and comment on. I'm off to bed now.

Ocupada yet another week

Quick post. Had a lot of fun this weekend from babysitting to having lunch with Jesse and Mia to going to Camillia Grill at 1:30 with Drew, Jesse and Mia early this morning to spending Mother's Day afternoon in BR. Tonight, I've been reading up on Country Day. Their website is very informative, and I've been generating questions for when I have my phone interview tomorrow afternoon. I'm nervous, but I think I'm well-prepared. I just hope nerves don't set in.

I wanted to share a colleague of mine's side business. It's called Gumbo Avenue (http://www.gumboavenue.com/Gallery.html). She works at McGehee in the tech department, but this mother of three (including a toddler) finds the time to cook all of their lunches and operate an out-of-home paper business. I haven't seen her stationary or wedding invites firsthand, but I've heard good things from my co-teachers in the baby/toddler room. The signs with the New Orleans street sign font are pretty cute, too. Someday, I'd like to get one for our kid's room.

Busy week (4 full days of work, one half day with babysitting, two nights of teaching ESL), but I'll post more as soon as I'm able. Oh, and Jesse leaves this Saturday for Turkey and Greece...more on that, too! Well, good night for now.

I was inspired

The car's windows are rolled down. The smell of hot asphalt still lingers from the neutral-grounded street the car just turned off. We meander down this crumbling street, whose borders seems to plateau off into the yards of mismatched houses and their concealed life-makers. I like it when pedestrian traffic and two queues of stationary cars prescribe a “life-in-slow-motion” consciousness, moving just fast enough to be able to notice the neighbors and families congregated on their elevated porches—after work, after mail-checking, after dog-walks and dogs' poops.

Cautionary of the road, yet contemplatively focused on my human insignificance, I am hopeful about what I plan on making my life as I snuggle into adulthood. If only I could always vicariously pull up this sentimental stance.

Probably the last grad school application for Fall 2010

I just "completed" an application for UNO's Master's in Romance Languages. It seems to be a pretty low-competition program, I surmised, as indicated by the lack of application requirements (only GPA minimum, transcripts, and GRE scores; no need for letters of recommendation or essays). At UNO, you choose either a Spanish or French concentration; I am, of course, choosing Spanish. But, you may take classes in the other of the two languages. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Portuguese or Italian are offered (like they are at Tulane), but I think I'll have my hands full with my Spanish classes as well as the French electives I plan to take. Though your major is one of the two languages, you specialize even further and either focus on "literature" or "language, culture and civilization," and from what I gather upon receiving your M.A., you are qualified to teach said language from elementary school through junior college. Though the admissions standards aren't as high as some of the schools I applied to earlier this spring (and didn't get into), I think the faculty have pretty interesting research and publications. Worst case scenario, I don't like it, and I transfer to Tulane or another school. Now that I'm serious about school (or at least had been my final two years of undergrad), I am not worried about dilly dallying around and screwing up without studying and without a care for my GPA.

I hope I get in, and I think I have a good chance of doing so. I'm still waiting to hear back from the program director though because my enrollment is dependent on whether I get some kind of financial aid or a "graduate assistantship," in which I work in some capacity (e.g. teaching) for UNO while attending. That would afford me a tuition and a stipend. I'm not sure on the size of the stipend so I don't know if I can live off of it. But, even if I don't receive either of these things, I still want to consider going part time in the evenings while working at McGehee. After going to Loyola, the tuition is quite manageable. For 12 hours a semester, it's under $2,000 and for 9, it's under $1,500. Not that I want to have that kind of financial commitment so I'm hoping to get some kind of financial aid, or I'll have to pay it in installments. I am not taking out more student loans, especially now that I'm paying the ones I accrued in undergrad.

Of course, I'm still just turning ideas over in my head right now. Once I'm in UNO and if I get a contract from McGehee, I'll better know how to anticipate my fall schedule. I need to talk to people who work and attend grad school so I can really get an idea of how many hours they take. I'm thinking I'll take 6 a semester. If I do that, I believe I can finish my [first] Master's in 2 years (including summers). Jesse works full-time and and generally takes 12 hours a semester in law school. I don't know if this is normal or translates for grad schoool, too, though. I still want to get a Master's and Ph.D. in Latin American Studies or Anthropology, but I think an M.A. in Spanish will provide me a firmer foundation and a stepping stone into my future academic endeavors. And professional, which I hope are academic. Plus, I'll always be able to get a job teaching Spanish in grade school if I want it.

I know that this will be difficult, going to school and working, but I just have to weigh the pros and cons and try it out! I do need and want plenty of advice though. I'll be asking lot of more experienced people than I. At least, I'm not attempting this being married with kids, or unmarried with kids! If I had a family to take care of, I think this would be 100x more difficult. I'll keep you updated on this, but like all ideas I get, I am initially very excited and hopeful, and when things don't turn out how I hoped, I am strongly disappointed. I hope this doesn't turn out like some of the others.

Car

Just considering, but depending on where Jesse and I live and what my job situation is this summer and fall, I'm thinking about buying a [new] car. Sharing with Mia is nice, and she's so patient and understanding when it comes to letting me use what is really her car. But, I can't do this much longer, and as much as I'm dreading the financial responsibility, I think it's almost about time I make this kind of a commitment and investment. I'll need to talk to Chat (this nice Asian man who we bring all our car issues to) to see if he's selling any of the cars that he redoes and then sells. I want a hybrid though, or at least something with amazing gas mileage. Otherwise, my mom and I will probably go to Team Honda in BR. We'll see though. Any thoughts?

I'm thinking the Honda Insight.

Jazz Fest

Holli surprised me this morning with a call. I thought she'd be calling to ask me to babysit sometime (possibly for the day), which I would have happily done. But upon listening to her voicemail, I learned that she wanted to give her extra Jazz Fest tickets to me. Her husband works for Shell (which sponsors Jazz Fest). I immediately thought of Jesse, but, of course, he had to study all day for a final he has tomorrow. Then, I wondered if Mia could spare the day even though she has a calculus final tomorrow. Nope, she was unable to come. So then I asked Neill. Though he wasn't in the most awake and spritely spirit, he was excited to come with me. So after making our way to Holli's to pick up the tickets and having a Pinkberry snack, we made our way to City Park. It rained intermittently throughout the day, but overall, it was a nice experience. We listened to Trombone Shorty, Juvenile The Neville Brothers and Van Morrison, I believe. We did not get a chance to see B.B. King, however, because of how full the Blues tent was. We couldn't even hear him outside of the tent because of the crowd. The food was delicious; we ended up spending a good bit of time with Neill's friend who was working there as well as meeting up with Holli, Kevin and Adele. I also found what I want to get Dr. Garza for her wedding, but I wasn't able to buy it there because I didn't have enough cash. I'll visit a bookstore sometime this week and perhaps bring it to Scriptura for wrapping. But, probably not...I need to save money!

This week is going to be superbusy for me. I'm subbing MWF for Lindsey in the baby/toddler room (where I usually am Tuesday and Thursdays). I'll definitely have to mentally prepare myself for this stint. Additionally, Dr. Garza's wedding is this Saturday so I'll most-likely be babysitting from Thursday through Saturday. With Mia going back and forth from Baton Rouge (her semester ends tomorrow) and Jesse taking finals, my transportation issues will be interesting and difficult to negotiate. But, after the week's over, it'll be much more relaxed.

I emailed UNO this evening about their Spanish grad program so we'll see if the coordinator's response is more fruitful than Tulane's. If only I can still get a fellowship and teach while going to school. I met someone today at Jazz Fest who went to UNO for her undergrad in language instruction and then a M.A. in Arts Administration. She now works at NOMA, and listening to her talk about how much she enjoys her job just made me think hopefully, longingly a little more.

Well, I was exhausted when I got home this evening and I fell asleep soon thereafter. I woke up, but I think I should get to bed again. Til next time!

Gulf Oil Spill

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/30/deepwater-horizon-oil-spi_n_558736.html

I need to do more research on this; I haven't kept up with the news at all, I'm ashamed to say. Got the above link from my dad's facebook page.

Of course, there's more to marriage than a wedding, but this post is about

my wedding. I've been putting off posting because my right hand hurts at the base of my thumb and across the bottom of my palm. I believe it's a tendon and being myself, I hypochondriatically and preemptively diagnose myself with arthritis. But, putting off blogging hasn't stopped me from wasting time bouncing from facebook to email to random websites. And so, now as I begin to type a post loosely based on marriage, I wonder if this keyboard has been my hand's demise.

Yesterday, Mia picked me up from work since she had the car. I got off at 3, after a day with the Doodlebugs, a toddler class. We decided to go to Pinkberry, where we, of course, stood in line for almost 30 minutes, but then enjoyed our "regulars"--coconut/mango yogurts with various fruits and drizzled with pomegranate juice. Afterwards we went [window] shopping along one side of Magazine, and while there were plenty of articles of clothing I might enjoy, nothing struck me as a must-have. Fortunately, because I've been spending too much lately (a recent and embarrassing obsession with J. Crew). But, then, we went to Scriptura (http://www.scriptura.com/)! I'm looking for a particular present for a particular person, but after browsing and speaking with the store's proprietress, I decided to think about it and revisit in the next couple of weeks to see if they get stock of what I was thinking about buying. While there, Mia asked me in front of the proprietress if when I get married, would I have my invitations from here? The rest of the conversation went something to this effect:

Me: I'm not engaged yet.

Mia: Like you haven't thought about it.

Me (in thought): Of course I have!

Proprietress still on the phone with Metairie location to see if they have stock of what I wanted to buy. After she gets off the phone -

Proprietress: When she does get married, she will have her invitations from here.

Me (in thought): I do hope she's clairvoyant.

More talk among us.

Me: I would love to have my invitations done here, but unfortunately, my boyfriend doesn't share the same affinity for paper as I do.

Proprietress: That's okay. It just means he's a heterosexual male.

A light and enjoyable conversation. And, I ended up getting a replacement ink for my retro pen and a cute Mother's Day card for my grandma. Score! (Mia and I and Jesse and I have been shopping around for cards for all those mamas in our lives). While in Jean Therapy, by the way, I resisted the urge to pick up a New Orleans wedding magazine. I know that it's silly that I'm harping on these ideas. I even thought of Pomplamoose playing at the ceremony; I think coverbands are such the better alternative to djs. I've long-known who is going to cater the reception! But, as for my recent hypersensitivity to most things matrimonial, my excuse is that seeing Dr. Garza and Drew planning their weddings has just been too inspiring to ignore and and not think of my own. When I do have to do this though, will I loathe the pressure and the detail needed in planning? (see AnExtendedVacation's blogspot) I guess I need a different distraction. Luckily, I just started reading Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.

One last point. I love that shopowners on Magazine (and I believe, New Orleans in general) remember you and make a point to talk to you. At Scriptura, she asked me how my friend liked Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I said that she made Boeuf Bourguignon and told her how much Drew loved the paper and ribbon in which the same lady had wrapped it. The other day, I ran into Vom Fass for some more oil and Calamansi vinegar since my mom was over and I was going to attempt to cook Wild Chilean Sea Bass. Vom Fass' proprietress also asked me about the Calamansi that I had gotten for my mom. She was overly helpful (as was another worker there), and it gives me more pride on top of the growing and never-ending pride I have for this city.

Wearing this to Dr. Garza's wedding next weekend :)

Oh the baby bumps

http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/photos/pregnant-models-2009218/2004

I don't know why--maybe it's because of my line of work--but I've been more and more interested in babies and pregnancy lately, much to my boyfriend's chagrin. I try not to think about these things so much because they're not in my near future, but alas, a girl can dream, right? And, just for the record, I'm honestly too selfish and self-absorbed to have a baby right now. I'm content to sit and to work at a preschool until I join the rest of the world's mothers.

Next post: marriage and such