Marriage

I'm so stupid. Yesterday, Jes and I went to his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party, and I got upset and subsequently emotional after I was not asked to be in the grandchildren's photograph. The thing is, one of his cousins' girlfriend was in it, and they've been together for far less time than Jesse and I have, but in consolation, this particular cousin pulled his girlfriend in. But, I was just bitter that three of his cousins have gotten married in the time we've been together, and 2 of them have been with their significant others for less than we have. Anyway, it's not a competition and I was being ridiculous, but I brought it up on the way home and kind of sullied a perfectly lovely afternoon...

That is until his birthday party/housewarming that evening. But, the thing is, I shouldn't have asked him when we're getting married. Obviously, there is a reason he hasn't asked me. What bothers me I guess is that it doesn't matter to him whether or not we get married. The thing is, to him, it's just a piece of paper. Anyway, I don't want to harp on it. I just wanted to acknowledge this and move on. I probably should have journaled in my written journal, but this was more convenient for the moment.