Where to begin?

I have been pretty busy, I'd say. I've been recovering for two weeks now from this really bad cold. But, every morning, I still wake up with a sore throat though the coughing has begun to subside. Throughout the day, I feel nearly alright, but closer to bedtime, it starts to bother me again. And, I can't go to the doctor without having to pay out of pocket, of which my meager salary does not afford me the luxury. I took antibiotics that my aunt gave me (she was visiting for her 50th birthday, and she's a psychiatrist), but they did not cure me.

I've been working and teaching ESL as usual, missing two days from each the week before last because I was so sick. I have prescribed a schedule for myself because on Saturday, December 5th (two weeks from yesterday), I will be sitting on LSU's campus around noon, beginning my computer-based GRE. I'm trying to keep to the schedule, but obviously, I diverge from it, mainly out of laziness, but also on accident. Literally sometimes. Today, for instance, Mia and I were going to study. We decided on Rue [de la Course] because though we love The Orange Couch (affectionately deemed The Red Sofa by me), we were not in the mood to drive to the Marigny to pay 5.00 for their delicious Thai ice tea milk shakes. So, to Oak. But, in the 2-3 minutes that it takes me to drive down Carrollton from my house to Oak, I realize that there's an inordinate amount of pedestrian traffic on the neutral ground and the sidewalks, even for a Sunday! Then it dawned on me. The Po-boy Festival! It was today; we didn't end of going this year, but last year, it was good, claustrophobic fun! But, Mia and I were going to study so I turned around to head to the Rue on Magazine, figuring we might pass a cafe to try out for the first time. Well, I'm driving down Magazine, maybe 30 mph, and right in front of Whole Foods, a person drove right into the driver's side of the car. Literally, she was coming out of the Chico's parking lot, and she veered into the opposite lane--the on-coming traffic and I was it. Well, all there were unharmed, and things worked out fine. But, now we have to get the Accord fixed. As crazy as my sentiment is, I'm just glad that it wasn't my fault (and that everyone involved is okay). I just don't remember a time that I've been in an accident that wasn't in some way my fault; this has never been the case with me. I've backed into so many things--a tree, a couple of cars. I swiped a curb a month or two ago, but these were all in some way my fault. This time, I was doing everything right--paying attention, no radio, no cellphone, going the speed limit. And, as the Ford Explorer went came into our car, I had this indescribable feeling of slow motion. Well, I've got to call the insurance company tomorrow so her insurance's representative can come and give an estimate before we can have the car fixed.

Well, after waiting for a while for the police and discussing the insurance dealings, Mia and I ended up making our way to Fuel Cafe on Magazine to study, and we were hungry by now! It's cute and we shared an order of eggs Benedict with pulled pork--so good--on a bed of corn bread and drizzled in chipotle hollandaise sauce. We also had a side of cream cheese grits. I had a large cup of camomile tea. I recommend this place, except for their weird hours. Yes, it's Sunday, but the door indicated that they close mid-afternoon most days. Nevertheless, it was a find! 

Mia was in Vancouver, Washington the past 5 days for her cross country nationals; she returned yesterday, but it knee-deep in make-up homework and studying. But, since we got to Fuel around 1:40, we had to find another place to study. So we just went to the Loyola library. I love being on campus sometimes, but the heavy food had made me tired so at first, I struggled to stay awake. I worked on my GRE prep some more before I quit and later, Mia and I headed back to my apartment. 

Jesse had been home all day, and since I didn't know what to cook, we ordered pizza and put up our Christmas tree. It's Jesse and my second Christmas! Mia's our adopted daughter and we had fun before dropping Mia back to her dorm.

Sore throats and good-byes

I'm sick so I actually called into work yesterday evening to take off for today and teaching ESL tonight (still waiting to hear back from the site coordinator of the latter). Aunt Anita's visit was very fun and I pretty much regret all the negative things I said prior to her arriving. But, it was anxiety-driven and in the heat of the moment. I need to think about this when I feel on the verge of getting upset. I must acknowledge that it's not as bad as it seems and that I'll probably end up really enjoying what's to come. I'll update more later as Jesse and I brought her to the airport this morning before he left for work. More about the weekend and my sickness. Now I'm going to curl up in bed and read a book :)

It says it all...

Dear Angela,

Thank you very much for your interest in Teach For America and for the time and effort you invested in applying to the 2010 corps. I am very sorry to inform you that, after careful consideration of your application, we did not select you to advance to the next stage of our admissions process.

Your initiative in applying to Teach For America demonstrates your commitment to expanding opportunities for children and effecting social change, and we would like to offer all candidates a path to realizing these aims. This said, we know that Teach For America is not a fit for everyone. While acknowledging the limitations of any selection process, we have developed a set of admissions criteria over time that helps us identify those most likely to be successful in our particular program.

We know, however, that you have the potential to make a significant contribution to meeting our country's pressing social needs, and we encourage you to pursue other ways to make a difference. To assist you in your pursuit, we have posted on our website a list of recommended resources. If you also are interested in being contacted by educational and service-oriented organizations that may wish to recruit Teach For America applicants for similar opportunities, you can complete a short form here.

Although this e-mail may bring disappointment, I hope that your experience with Teach For America thus far has been positive. If you would like to share any anonymous feedback on our admissions process, we welcome your reflections and suggestions here.

Lastly, I am sorry that we will not be able to provide individual feedback on admissions decisions, given that we do not have the resources to handle the volume of potential requests. We attempt to minimize the disappointment we know this can cause by being upfront about this policy in our application.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Joshua Griggs
Vice President, Admissions

Is this a reality check for my grad school pursuits? I knew it was competitive. Dr. Henne told me that even 4.0 students have a hard time getting accepted. I just didn't realize I'd take the rejection to heart so much. Hmph. Back to trying to get into grad school, I guess. I should be happy that, at least, I applied. At least, I did the application--which wasn't just a few questions and yes/no blanks. I thought long and hard about what I wanted and I pursued it, regardless of the risk of being rejected. In high school, though I was somewhat competitive in school, I did not go after things that when I knew that I had even a possibility of of failure. I should be proud still, right? I just hope this isn't a harbinger for January when I get my letters of admission from UT-Austin, New School and Tulane. I don't want to feel like a fuck-up, for lack of a better word.

layout

Although I really like the layout that Drew helped me to create, I've decided to go from a more cutesy scrapbooking look to a sophisticated and somewhat darker look. Only problem is that even with the quite user-friendly remodeling tools that blogger/blogspot sports, my blog does not look the way I want it to. I'll work on this the next week or so. Getting tired again.

I'm feeling the pressure now

My aunt (Daddy's sister) will be here in two days, and I'm getting conscientious and anxious about her staying with us. It was an imposition for her to ask. Sure, she doesn't know that Jesse and my apartment is tiny, but still. What was I supposed to say, no? Yes, that's exactly what I was supposed to say. But, that's not me. And, she's family--even if we don't say "I love you" to one another.

So why am I not cleaning like a mad woman? Or, working on GRE prep? Or, making more lesson plans and a study guide for the site coordinator to hand out to my class tomorrow since she's subbing while I entertain dear Aunt Anita? Blogging is therapeutic in that omygod! a rush of words in pouring through my fingertips and gosh, I hope that my four-year-old ibook doesn't do one of those rainbowy circle things! Well, here I am, venting.

On the bright side, beginning cleaning today, I picked up my box of Guatemala paraphenalia--ads and receipts and other things that remind me of the people I met and met up with there and the places I saw and was a part of. I kept most of those tucked into in my journal--one that Jesse Max gave me a few days before I left for my birthday--but I kept other bits and pieces in a shoebox. So I placed many of those pieces in a scrapbook--an empty, old photo album that my dad gave me a while back. I'm looking forward to putting it together for future reminiscing. Coincidently enough, Holt and I talked via Facebook today (he was my little brother, across-the-hall co-host-family housemate in Guate). It was nice to be reminded of Guatemala again.

But, speaking of Jesse Max, I ran into her yesterday, briefly as I was walking in with Sadie to OT. A quick and unexpected hi was exchanged, but I must admit, I'm sad that we're not in touch anymore and that she didn't even call me to explain the lack of communication the past few months or to resay hi after the quick greeting at Crane Rehab. In any case, it was ironic since I thought just yesterday that she's really kind of walked out of my life, or seems so, anyhow. She was a good friend--eccentric, but a true friend. Maybe she just really is so busy with her job or, as I should be doing, trying to further herself, most-likely through education. Who knows? That's life though; I've had enough friends leave intermittently and many times, it's just the way things go. It's not overwhelmingly one or the other's fault, you know?

Haha, my phone just vibrated. Text from Jesse Max.

Well, I'm going to go work on dinner. Nothing fancy, just grilled cheeses (colby jack) on a sandwich loaf I made in my breadmaker. Maybe with pesto Mmm... FYI-breadmaker bread is really dense!

Also, Jesse and I are having lunch at a taco truck tomorrow. I'm excited! Will update more later...

I'm on my way

Today was a start. Around about 3:40, I decided to go running. It was surprisingly easier to keep at it (from my apartment to St. Charles and back) than I thought it would be. I almost instantly felt better, but maybe it's all in my head, just a self-esteem effect (I should be able to recall the term from my psych classes). So that was the step I needed to take. Additionally, after I made a ribeye lunch for Jesse and me (I know, not very healthy, right? but I had to finish the meat before it went bad), I placed my spaghetti squash in the oven. I left in there until I got back from running so by the time I retrieved it, it was a little burnt and disformed; now I have to either get oven cleaner and/or ask our landlord if it's a self-cleaning oven. But, I made spaghetti squash with red sauce, bell peppers and torn up slices of deli parmesan pesto ham. I just threw it together because I had stuff in the fridge. Even Jesse said it was pretty good, which is so big because vegetables usually make him gag--not that he had a bowl himself though. Ha.

This week is going to be busy because I need to really clean the apartment since my aunt will be visiting us for her 50th birthday. She sort of invited herself, which is a little uncomfortable because she'll be staying at our apartment. It's a one bedroom. But, as my parents raised me, Jesse and I will be sleeping on the futon and we'll be giving our bedroom for her. I have to dust and pick up the piles of books I've been putting off organizing. This place gets so dusty though and full of Saki's hair so this should be a cleaning week. And, by next weekend, Jesse and I will be tired from playing tour guide and faking tourists ourselves. Friday is my aunt's birthday and she wants to go clubbing after dinner! I don't really go out much these days, but I figure we'll stroll down Bourbon for her sake, and then mosey on to Republic and/or Hookah since it's supposed to open that weekend. Speaking of which, last week, Billy called to ask me if I wanted my job back. He told me that it would only have to be 2-4 nights a week so I could do it supplemental to my job with McGehee and ESL. But, after sleeping on it, as broke as I am, we don't need the money that much. I couldn't give up my weekends with Jesse. I'm busy enough.

I don't know why I keep on talking about this because honestly, I'm not sure that I'll progress to the next step with such an unsteady GPA history, but I'll know where I stand with Teach For America on Wednesday. They'll send me an email directing me on whether or not to set up a phone interview and who my recommenders will be. I wanted to wait to ask my desired recommenders if they'd fill out the online recommendation until I knew if I go to the next step, but TFA suggests that I ask in advance so I'll be going to Loyola on Tuesday to do so. I got Dr. Henne to write one of my letters of reference for McGehee and asked him to do so via email so this time I'm going to stop in at his office to ask. I have a couple of ideas on who else I'll ask, but I think I'll contemplate a little longer.

This weekend was kind of intense, but I have had plenty of rest, too. Friday was my first big person function as Jesse and I did go to the reception for Little Gate. The headmistress of McGehee decided to reward Little Gate faculty with hors d'oeurves and drinks at Sun Ray Grill in the CBD/Warehouse District; Little Gate was voted the number one preschool in the city by parents voting in a Nickelodeon contest. At first, I was a little reluctant and anxious about going. I don't know many of the teachers (or their names for that matter), and I feel a little out of place, not being in my baby-having phase of life. But, it ended up going very nicely and Jesse and I talked and mingled (with people I had more direct contact with at school and just enough for the first time, for me anyway, because I can be so awkward). Because it only takes a little, two chardonnays later, I felt a lot more comfortable, and luckily for me, that was about the time the party ended. Jesse and I went home and dosed off to prepare ourself for the crazy Halloween night to come.

Veronica came in on Thursday and I got to see her for maybe half an hour on Friday, but then we met up for lunch with her old roommate and her friends. Later, we planned to meet up for Frenchmen Street revelry, of course, which felt different post-college and with Jesse and Mia. Neither of them had a lot of fun, save for when Veronica and a couple of her acquaintances got there. It was so crowded and it took us over an hour to get from our apartment to Canal (via streetcar so we wouldn't have to deal with parking and drunkards). We ended up walking from Canal to Frenchman--by way of Bourbon to Royal--because the Canal line appeared to be blocked by police cars. It was not fun for the feet, but every now and again, there'd be a witty, unique or just good costume. I'll have to tell about the iPhone finding, more about Mia and Veronica, in particular, etc. But, I'll save that for the next entry since I'm getting sleepy.

Winter Weight

I'm getting fat, and I don't want to hear any objections otherwise. It sort of all began because I stopped running on a semi-regular basis. It's been getting colder, and something that this change of weather precipitates, obviously, is getting sick. So I got sick; the nurse at McGehee said that I had a cold, nothing to worry about, so that needless to say relieved me with all the stir about the different strands of flu. Not to mention, I don't have health insurance, but I will get to that later. So on top of the fact that my throat has been hurting for the past few weeks (mainly as soon as I wake up and towards the end of the day), and in the first days, I had throbbing head- and ear-aches, the chilly weather does not make me feel any more enthusiastic about running outside. I much prefer running outdoors to running indoors (and without a tuition-covered rec plex to go to, this is only an option when Neill can sneak me into Reilly). And though running warms you up, I just am feeling lazy and unmotivated. I think I've actually paradoxically been enjoying my sore throat sometimes so I can excuse myself from exercising. But, I'm thinking today will be the day that I actually throw on the old pair of underarmor Mia gave me and hit the tracks (the streetcar tracks, that is). But, then again, the last 2 - 3 days have been "the day," too.

I like to keep myself busy, which has been my excuse for not having updated this blog and livejournal lately. By the time I want to sign on and share, it's late, and I'm tired. But, circuitously, I keep on putting it off, and the sheer volume of blogging I fear to face has just demotivated me even further. I am still teaching ESL and trying to keep up with my lesson plans. Like many other times in my life, Thursday, I rushed home to bake a batch of healthy chocolate cupcakes (they're made with applesauce) for my class (for our Halloween class); Neill and Mia had helped me make loaves of pumpkin bread the night before, but I took one to McGehee to share with my coworkers since I had already mentioned bringing some the day before. And, both baked goods came out well; I was particularly impressed with the pumpkin bread because I hadn't made it before; the recipe came from Mia's iPhone food network page. But, that's another part of my problem discussed in the first paragraph--I like to bake, and I consequently end up eating a substantial amount of what I bake. It's never been a secret that I love to eat. It just seems like lately, quantity control has been an issue--my issue. I seem to eat whatever's in front of me (when I'm not busy running around because I've "committed myself to other things"). Also, sometimes in the frenzies I've created for myself, I forget to eat a meal--most of the time, breakfast. That just makes me even more hungrier for the next meal, where more often than not, I overeat. This is a great concern to me. I don't want to gain weight, and saying that doesn't make me have an eating disorder. I don't want to stand on a scale right now for fear of what I may weigh, but the last time I did so (probably sometime last month?), I was about 115ish. I should be 110; I'd like to be 107. I'm only 5'2''. Not only do I need to exercise, I need to balance the types of foods I eat (something that seemed to come so naturally to me before, and I need to moderate a better schedule for eating. Maybe because my MWF, TR, and weekend schedules are so different, I'm easily thrown off. I need to put more effort into this. Remember how good it felt when I stopped eating Popeyes? And I was almost tempted this weekend, but I had a good support encouraging not to give in--my Jesse) I need to feel like that again! I need to feel the adrenaline that I would when I ran down the line on a Sunday morning, listening to Muse, or in Audubon Park! So what am I doing sitting on the futon in my PJs and Jesse's law school sweatshirt, while he listens to an audiobook and plays a video game?